Waiter… There is a Fly in my soup.

(Any resemblance to real life/ real people is purely intentional and intended for satire and sarcasm. If you do not agree with the material or are offended, I don't care)

Once upon a time, there was an Entomologist called Danny who went to a restaurant in Mumbai for dinner. While having soup, he saw a Fly in it and thus was about to call the waiter to complain when the Entomologist inside him took over. The Fly was a good specimen, not too different apparently from the other flies you get in your soup. But what astounded him was the fact that it was an Indian Fly and had one extra leg. He was fascinated. Danny was already making a short film on the insects in India. He decided to include the Fly in it as well. So began the filming. At the same time, Danny wrote a paper on the different insects and the Fly in particular. The paper went on to be award winning. The Film didn’t stay far behind. The film had a conversation between an almost extinct Bumblebee and a new type of Cricket that Danny had found. The movie dwelled a lot on the Cricket’s history, his life and his origins. The Fly had a very small part in it. But when the movie was shown, the Fly and the movie had been marketed very well. Everyone wanted to see the Fly with the extra leg. Everyone went crazy about her. Soon the press was printing all kinds of news about the Fly. Someone found out the Fly’s ex. They printed the entire scoop. The Fly had become the Buzz of town. Then they started linking the Fly and the little Cricket. Everything went crazy after that. Papers were written about the Fly. Another Entomologist named Woody became equally fascinated with the Fly. He started off on his own paper and another film. Suddenly the Fly was making headlines everywhere. All the other insects in Danny’s film, although more important, soon lost out. The hives of 2 small insects were broken down while the Fly kept zooming ahead. The madness was not stopping.

All this while, the Lame Geek sat in his house and laughed at the stupidity of the others. The Fly had nothing too different than the other flies. But she was soon the talk of the town. The Lame Geek was soon amused by the stupidities of life.

To quote in true Shakespearean style, "For she will be the dumb Fly for all time, and her name will be Freida!"

The Weird Fashion of the XX group

Just to clarify, XX group implies the part of human population having only XX chromosomes. I could have said women, but then I will be slammed for being a sexist or chauvinistic guy. So I quote facts.

Moving on…

There is a group of ladies on my floor in the office (yes, they are from the good looking lot, but that is not why I am writing this blog) who for some reason make it a point to wear clothes which the lame geek ( Moi!!) is never quite able to understand. Mind you, they do follow the proper office policy of decent dressing, but I am never able to understand what they are thinking. My office has a policy that on Fridays, casual wear is allowed. However, I do not understand how bright orange cargo pants qualify as business casuals. The clothes these women wear are pulled right out of Govinda movies. Blue tshirt and red pant. One day, one of the very slim members of the Champak gang as we call them these days, wore a green salwar kurta with a red dupatta. (whew… remembering the details is so difficult. For guys it is so easy. Shirt or tshirt, pant/trouser, or jeans) looking more like a parrot than anything else. I played the role of a Parrot in my KG-II drama act. I looked better. One day this same parrot lady wore what can be best described as a pink Slinky as earrings (for those who don’t know what a Slinky is, Google or Wiki it) The same day, one of her fellow Champaks wore Mini Gong earrings ( Gong : A gong is an East and South East Asian musical instrument that takes the form of a flat metal disc which is hit with a mallet) I think it is some sort of alarm system. If she falls asleep, the person next to her can strike the Mini Gong to wake her up. The mentioned Champak looks more like the witch from the movie Makdi. Seriously, one look at her and you will feel like soon she is going to start screaming and laughing Mu hu ha ha ha…. Girls…. I don’t know if this is the fashion trend these days, but seriously, forgive me for laughing at all this. Whatever happened to the normal clothing. Speaking of that, it is Monday today, 4 days till the next Champak day. Let’s see what happens on that day.

Ashwin Ranade.... @23 - The transience or transition?

I turned 23 last week. And the journey from 22 to 23 has been... eventful.

There is a line in the book Five point Someone by Chetan Bhagat..

Life is uncertain, screwed up at times, but still fun.

Chetan Bhagat... Boss... the 2 books you wrote after that sucked big time.... But you are now my Life Guru!!

Last year was full of changes. After 22 years of shielded life, I was finally sent out to find my place in the world. And it has been a roller coaster ride ever since.

I saw life in a different colour in the last few months. I saw people change.

I saw one of my best friend turn and walk away. Daily Chats about any topic with that friend being reduced to 30-50 second birthday wishes on each other's birthday.

I saw sides of people's personalities which confuse me even though I have known them for a long time.

I saw disappointment, both in social and professional life. I experienced first hand, what "getting a raw deal" means.

One thing I learnt from the past one year on the job - Philosophers are people who have never done any software testing in their life!

People say that in adversity, you know who your true friend is. I say, you don't exactly need adversity to see that.

I saw failure. And felt how it feels like when you don't have your own people around when failure happens.

I saw rejection. And let me tell you... It sucked! The worst part about rejection is that you start doubting yourself. You start doubting your worth. And the anger of you being denied something or some job is nothing compared to your childhood experience of not getting the toy you wanted. And that, my friends, is something you don't want to do. I learnt that the hard way. I had people who helped me in doing that.

But most of all, in the last year, I saw joy. And this wasn't any artificial joy. But the pure intrinsic "Export-Quality" joy. Every adversity is fun after you start considering it a challenge. And there are events in life which make the bad experiences seem like nothing but a puddle of muddy water. I saw my elder brother get married to the most wonderful person I could get as a sister-in-law. I saw my Aai and Baba welcome her into our family and I saw her become one of us. I saw the joy on their faces and on mine when my brother got married to her. I got to meet her family who now pamper me as much as she does if not more. I got the chance to make a special bond with her, both my brother's wife and also as a member of my family who is my friend when I want someone to talk to.

I saw my brother get his due for the hard work he has put in for the past 5 years. It is a great feeling to see your brother or sister succeed when they have been working that hard. Coz that is the best motivation possible for you.

I would always feel jealous of my brother when he started earning as he would buy stuff for the folks at home. I got to feel it first hand, how unimaginably great it feels like when you buy a nice sari for your mom and a great shirt for your dad. I got to feel how nice it feels like when you take your folks to lunch and pick up the tab.

I got to experience the joy of making a big purchase with my hard earned money. (though I don't plan to make any for a long time now)

Though some friends deserted me along the way, I was lucky enough to find some new ones in the process. The group was good and welcoming enough to accept me even though I was, so to speak, an outsider for them. But the process has been fun. I met people who changed my view of life from downright pessimistic in the first few months to a more practical one. I also saw some acquaintances become good friends in the process.

While some things have changed, other things have remained the same. I still quarrel a lot with my Mom and dad. ( and yeah they are right all the time.... but can't accept that during the argument :) ). And yes, I still receive my mom's call everyday asking me whether I have taken my medication. ( Very sweet of her... Makes me smile everytime she calls. And no... I don't transform from Henry Jekyll to Edward Hyde if I don't take it.)

Now on wacky side... I am still single. This isn't supposed to be a desperate call to all woman kind to know that I am single, but why take chances :P

Ok... moving on. I have to cook these days. All these years, Mom made it look so simple.

The first thing I cooked got burnt.

The second one was a little more spicy than expected.

Maybe that is a rite of passage.

I still get up late at times for office. I forget to wash my clothes on the weekend (fear not my fellow office mates... I always have a backup ready. so no stinky clothes)

It still rains only on those days on which I forget to carry my raincoat to office.

My attempts at learning the flute have not yieled anything yet other than cries of anger from my annoyed room mates from time to time. But I am not giving up... even if it means that I have to make them go deaf in the process.. or lose a few teeth.

I am still making plans for my guitar lessons. I clean my room only when I slip on the dust that has accumulated on the floor.

I still am the geek who feels he is a castaway on Gilligan's island when I am in the women's section in Shopper's Stop (Don't ask me how that happened. Nothing to gossip about. bottom line, I find myself lost with no other land mass in sight when that happens)

Now for the more wacky stuff.... I have taken a fascination to watching Telugu movies and listening to Tamil songs. (Again, don't ask me how that happened. Nothing to gossip. It mostly started because of a lady called Tamannah Bhatia, the actress)

I have eaten so many pizzas in the past few months that the mention of any pizza makes me nauseate.

My Laptop hard disc crashed and wiped out all my data. Then again I was running Windows on it. So can't categorize that as wacky... that is downright normal.

I still hate Himesh Reshamiya, and Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan and Ekta Kapoor and Shah rukh Khan and Karan Johar.

New addition to the list.. Freida Pinto. More on that some other time.

THE wackiest of all?? I wrote a poem!

So as all of you can see (let's be practical, this stuff isn't going to be seen by many eyes) Life is uncertain, screwed up at times, but still fun. Life from 22 to 23 has been all of that, and some more.

So what now? How will the journey from AshwinRanade@23 to AshwinRanade@24 be different? Will it be a transience, or will it again be a transition? Will it be as eventful? Will the journey be more productive and favourable? Or will it be another depressing sojourn followed by unimaginable bliss?

There is a sitcom called How I met your mother in which the lead character has been explaining to his kids for the last 4 years how he met his wife. and till the season finale of season 4, he hasn't met her. So do I meet someone as well this year? (My brother met his wife at around the same age. So let's see if Lightning strikes the same place twice!)

Well, all that is for me and you to find out. So see you again same time, same place next year. Till then, The Ashspear stays 23 years Old ( or isn't that 23 years Young :P )